Whose Yo Type?

What defines the type of partner a person wants? Looks, aesthetics, personality, or the thought of just having someone who is there for you? Today I was having a conversation with a guy that works with me. He’s an older guy, much older than I usually hold a conversation with. We talked about how a person can be attracted to the opposite sex, however if that person who we claim ourselves attracted to does not meet up with what we expected or what we look for, then we’ll let them go.
Basically a guy can meet a bad ass female, and presume along with the fact that since she’s pretty and has a nice personality, he can see himself with her. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. Everyone has standards, and just because a female is beautiful, or a man is handsome, does not necessarily mean that you can have a serious relationship with them. Sure, the both of you can be physically attracted to each other, and the personality can be on point, but this does mean that this person is your type.
It’s a real confusing situation, and of course it took me awhile to think about it and piece the facts together to see if this possibility is naturally possible. There have been times where I have had the biggest crushes on people; handsome, cool personality, but looking at them physically; I just knew that this person was not for me. I’m the type of girl who is into dark skinned males. I don’t have a problem with light skinned guys, but they just don’t catch my attention like a male with brown or darker skin.
I remember my freshman year; I was crushing on a guy who was cool as hell, and totally handsome. But because his physical didn’t reach my standards, I just could not see myself with him. I wanted to be with him, I really wanted it to work, but there was this fact (that took me forever to realize, I didn’t know it back then), that came to me that played in my head…I couldn’t deal with him because he wasn’t what I was used to being with. He wasn’t the kind of person I would make a good couple with, for whatever the reason was; it just seemed as though we were incompatible. And it was a blower.
Thinking about the different situations where I have rejected a guy because I thought he wasn’t my type, then got me the thinking about who my type even was in the first place. What am I attracted to? Who do I consider my “type”? Truth, I still haven’t thought of who my type really is.
I talk to different guys, and those guys will start off with the “getting to know” questions with a; “What do you look for in a guy”. I hate answering this, and I realized I hate answering this question, mainly because I have no clue as to what I like in a guy. It’s really sad because you would have thought by now that I would have at least a sense of what I like in a person. But then again I am only 20 years old. Then I thought about it some more. I came to the conclusion that if I am not even so certain about my preferences in a male, and I’m totally mature for my age (if you haven’t noticed :-]), then how can any other female’s my age be so sure?
You have girls who walk around campus saying that their type of guys are guys that buy them flowers or take them out to eat, or have cars. What is the problem with these qualifications??
These qualifications aren’t real. No one at this age knows what kind of person they are attracted to. Everyone is attracted to the materialistic things, or just the simple idea that they have a significant other. A person can be in relationship with a person for months and not even know if this person is their type or not. And it’s true. Ever heard of a relationship imbalance? It happens everywhere, this is why people break up. If people had a balance in their relationship, and wasn’t always thinking about sex, or what the next person and the people who surround them on a daily basis thought about their relationship; people would be together longer. Everyone in college has this perspective that the right person has to benefit them in any way possible, sort of like having a person who compliments their style. This theory is the utmost ignorant theory ever. You can’t be with a person just because her/his swag matches yours. This is exactly the ignorance of the whole “my type” thing that I’m talking about.
The type of person, I’ve realized, who you classify as you’re “type” goes way beyond materialistic things and far beyond peoples’ opinions about your relationship. It’s about what attracts you, what makes you go crazy about that person, what is one thing that this person does to you or for you that will never get old? That is a type of person. That is a real preference, a real summary for what a female and a male should look for. Not just the physical, or what they have, or what they could be.
I still haven’t listed what I prefer in a male. I’m still not even quite sure of what qualities I actually look for in a male are. All I am sure of is that I know the true definition of what it means to have a “type”. It is who I know I can get along with, who i know will be there for me and make me feel a certain a way. We all have preferences now, but let’s admit, these qualities we look for will surely change in the future, we’re not grown yet. We definitely have a Long way to go ♥